Is this strange? Do I need help?!?! Please!!?!?

So, one afternoon, I was pumping iron at my favorite gym. I had been there for about six hours and was about to start getting serious (I had just finished warming up) when this dude walked up to me. He was a big guy, about six foot five inches, with a flock o' seagulls haircut and no earlobes. He said to me, "Cletus", he says, "Keep that goddamn flaminga outta my pickle garden or I'm a gonna take my pet alligator and let it chow down on that goddamn flaminga! I'm'a tryin to grow some quality pickles here and your GOD DAMNED FLAMINGA (He yelled that part) keeps muckin it up!" I didn't know what he was talking about, so I was pretty nervous...Thats when he grabbed me and tried to stick his tongue down my throat! I broke away and dashed for the exit, and escaped to my home...However, whenever I wake up now, there are flamingo feathers on my front steps, and I swear to god that was a pickle I found in my mailbox...It didn't taste like one though... Do I need to contact the autorites